It is said that fear is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real, but it sure does feel real. Fear can prevent us from achieving all we were created to achieve. It holds us back but by pinpointing the specific fear in our lives, we can choose to stop believing the lies and walk into our destiny.
On today’s episode of The His & Her Money Show, Ruth Soukup, the founder of Living Well Spending Less and Elite Blog Academy, as well as the founder of the Living Well Planner, New York Times bestselling author of six books, including her newest book, Do It Scared.
How It All Started
Ruth started on this project because this has been her mantra throughout her adult life. She suffered from depression in her early twenties and came close to taking her own life on five separate times. For two and a half years she was in and out of hospitals fighting depression. Her life felt broken.
She blamed herself for ruining her own life. Bankrupt and divorced, she dropped out of school and lost her family and friends along the way. She had basically given up on herself. When she had hit rock bottom, she started saying to herself, do it scared.
When she started her entrepreneurial business she used the same principle. She did things scared. The first core value for her company was of course: do it scared.
Ruth started noticing that her audience also had fears that were keeping them stuck, preventing them from walking into their purpose. So she started asking some questions which led to more questions and she ended up with so much data that she had to hire a team of researchers to sift through all the data and what they found was very interesting.
All Fear Is Not Created Equal
All of us experience fear but it looks different from person to person. The research showed that there are seven fear archetypes. And usually, there are three or four that work together that gives each individual a unique fear fingerprint.
Ruth realized that to cure the fear you first had to recognize the type of fear that was holding you back and then identify how it manifests in your life. If you can see it, then you deal with it.
The Seven Fear Archetypes
The Procrastinator or Perfectionist is fearful of making a mistake and/or of making a commitment. They get stuck in analysis paralysis. The positive side of the procrastinator or perfectionist is that they have amazing attention to detail and their research ability is above average.
The Rule Follower has an unhealthy fear of authority. These are the people that read all the rules before playing a game and they feel very uncomfortable when people don’t color inside the lines. The positive side of the rule follower is they have very good follow-through.
A People Pleaser has a fear of being judged. They fear what other people think. By looking out for everyone else, they will keep their opinions to themselves. They sometimes allow other peoples’ needs to dictate their actions. The positive side of a people pleaser is they make very good friends and employees.
The Outcast has a fear of rejection, and so they reject people before people can reject them. They are driven. They could come across as a social pariah because they have rejected every one. The positive side of the outcast is they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and carry on.
The Self Doubter has a fear of not being capable and not being enough. It manifests in hyper-criticism of themselves and of others. The positive side of the self doubter is that if they turn their hyper-criticism towards projects (not people), they will mitigate and even eliminate the risks in the project.
The Excuse Maker has a fear of accountability. It is very difficult for them to make a decision. There is a positive side. Once they realize that they are allowed to make a mistake, they actually make very good choices.
The Pessimist has a fear of going through pain or adversary and it is because they have experienced a lot of tragedy and adversary in their life. The positive side is when they allow themselves to get healed, they can then go on to help a lot of people.
If you want to know which one you are, take the assessment here: https://doitscared.com
How To Overcome It
To overcome fear you have to consciously change and replace your thoughts with positive ones. And you do this by adopting the principles of courage. This will build up your immunity to the fear. Every time you take a courageous step, it builds your confidence.
Accountability
Have a truth-teller that will tell you the truth in love. It will help you to go outside your comfort zone because that is where we grow and walk into our destiny. Try to find a truth-teller that is opposite to you. For example, an Outcast will be able to counsel a People Pleaser and a People Pleaser will be able to help an Outcast.
Regrets
The pain of regret is much worse than the pain of failure. Give yourself permission to go outside your comfort zone. It’s okay to fail, just get up and do it again. If you don’t give yourself the gift of struggle, then you won’t get the gift of accomplishment either. We are all accountable for our own choices. Choose life. You are so worth reaching your dreams and goals.
Get in touch with Ruth at Ruthsoukup.com and LivingWellSpendingLess.com and DoItScared.com
What You Will Learn
- Why you act the way you do and how it relates to fear
- How to recognize which type of fear is holding your back
- Why you need to overcome that fear
- What will happen when you kick fear in the face by using wholesome thoughts
Resources Mentioned
- Do It Scared: Find the Courage to Face Your Fears, Overcome Adversity, and Create a Life You Love by Ruth Soukup
Thanks For Listening!
Thanks for tuning into us on The His & Her Money Show. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons at the bottom of the post.
Also, please leave an honest review for The His & Her Money Show on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! Furthermore, they do matter in the rankings of the show, and we do read each and every one of them.
Get your FREE audiobook download and 30-day free trial at HisandHerMoney.com/Audible. Additionally, they have over 150,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android, Kindle, or mp3 player. In fact, Audible has a ton of audiobooks for you to try no matter what genre you love to read.
