Traditionally, in a two-income household, the husband commonly is the higher income earner. The sad truth is that irrespective of the level of qualification, women are more than likely to get paid less than men for the same job. If that’s not the case, what if she makes more? Early on in our marriage, this was our story. I made more than my husband for the first 4 to 5 years of our marriage. You may ask:
- Was this a strain on our marriage?
- Did I inwardly resent my husband?
- Did we have arguments and disagreements over me making more than him?
- Was my husband settling and not trying to do better?
- Did I start to wear the pants in the marriage?
- Did I belittle him?
- Were there power struggles within our marriage?
Quite honestly, the list can go on and on. However, the great news is, me making more money than my husband made no difference.
I loved my husband for supporting our family, in any way. Moreover, I never once made him feel like less than a man.
I respected him as being the head of our home. Furthermore, the important thing to me was that my husband was not lazy. No matter what job he had, he was always a hard worker.
You Have To Become Teammates
Besides, all of our money went to the same pot. Therefore, it was a joint effort. We are a TEAM!
Update: Learn the 4 Things You Should Keep Separated in Marriage
One of the main factors that lead to me making more, was that I was in sales and he was on a fixed salary. I had the opportunity to earn additional income with each paycheck.
As a matter of fact, I was chosen to be one of the top sales leaders of the Fortune 500 company that I was working for.
So what did I do when I was granted the opportunity to take an all expense paid trip on behalf of my company?
I took my husband with me! We had to pay out of pocket for his airfare and his meals. Regardless, I felt that I could not have enjoyed my accomplishment without him by my side.
We accomplished this together! In all honesty, without his support and love, I could not have excelled in my company. He was truly my biggest cheerleader.
When I would get discouraged about certain situations that were taking place on my job, he would be the one to encourage me.
So, in reality, I did not accomplish “National Achiever” status alone…we were both National Achievers!
My husband never felt belittled or ashamed, by my income being higher. There was no reason for him too. I always made a conscious effort to uplift him and not tear him down.
I could not be more proud of him. He has gone on to achieve great things academically and professionally, in his career.
The Tables Could Turn
Fast forward to today, we have made the choice, that it’s best for me to stay home with our children. So, I had to leave behind my career that I enjoyed very much. I shared our personal story and the reasons why in this very emotional and teary video, Why Our Home Was Lacking.
My heart’s desire was to manage our home full time. It’s by no means an easy job, but it is so rewarding.
Talaat supported me in my decision and has cheered me on every step of the way. Moreover, he constantly applauds my great work in the home, and with the raising of our children.
If I would have torn him down constantly at the beginning of our marriage, about how much he was bringing home; it would have been difficult for me to come home full time to be with our children.
I would have felt guilty if I wanted to purchase even a candy bar. Fortunately, I can honestly say I don’t feel that way one bit. He works outside of the home full-time and I work inside of the home full-time.
That means that his paycheck is MY paycheck too! He never questions my ability to handle our finances in a responsible way. Furthermore, we are ONE…that’s how God intended for us to be!
Conclusion
Let me encourage you to go and uplift your spouse. Do it TODAY! No matter how much income he or she is earning, praise them for their good deeds. Please don’t misunderstand, we don’t encourage laziness of any kind.
By no means is that the point that we are trying to convey. We want to unite marriages around the world to work together as a team.
Through consistent and intentional teamwork, your marriage will be able to reach higher heights and deeper depths, than ever before.
Some key points of emphasis to remember are:
- Always uplift one another.
- Remember that you are a team and not a pair of individuals.
- Respect your spouse for who they are and not how much they make.
Do you make more than your spouse? Likewise, has this had a negative or positive effect on your marriage?
